scatologicalhumor

My Top 5 Albums of 2007

2007-12-14T10:23:00.001-08:00

These were the 5 albums that saw the most playtime in my iPod this year. In no particular order:

Radiohead - In Rainbows

Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

Rogue Wave - Asleep at Heaven's Gate

The Shins - Wincing the Night Away

Sea Wolf - Leaves in the River

Honorable mention:

Jesca Hoop - Kismet

Attack of the Killer Tongue

2007-11-20T08:59:00.001-08:00

Are You Kidding Me?

2007-11-13T11:41:00.001-08:00

I suppose this shouldn't surprise me, but the following was an actual poll on CNN.com today:

Quick Vote
Do you think praying for rain will work?

Yes
43%
14616

No
57%
19425
Total Votes: 34041

This makes me want to drive a stake through my eye.

Update

2007-09-26T14:56:00.000-07:00

Obviously, I haven't posted anything in a while. At some point, your new environment doesn't seem new anymore, and you no longer feel the need to indirectly tell everyone that something happened. I'd much rather have an actual conversation with someone.

Since my last post:

The bike has been awesome, but it's currently inoperable. I'm becoming quite a gearhead. I have removed the entire engine (long story as to why) and am overhauling the carburetors. It's fun, but I can't wait to be riding again (especially before it starts getting cold). It should run even better when I finally get everything back together!

My girlfriend of ~10 months, Kathy, will be moving in with me soon. It's exciting, scary, comforting, and disconcerting. Maybe it's finally time to be an adult. What it basically comes down to for me is that she's practically living with me anyway, and we can both save a lot of money in a very expensive city. Sorry if that kills the romance for anyone. She's also a really awesome girl.

I have been refreshing myself on Spanish lately and am probably as close to fluent as I have ever been. That is not to say that I can actually understand any of the Spanish I hear around here. But I could tell them that I don't like taxis and would prefer to take the subway. Or that I don't like milk in my coffee.

On that note, I just started learning French, too. Kathy and I are making plans to go to Paris next year sometime, and I would like to be able to speak some. They're not paying me for this, but I highly recommend the Pimsleur language programs. I used to think I sucked at foreign languages, but I'm realizing that sitting around memorizing vocabulary and verb conjugations eliminated any chance I had of actually learning something.

My job is going OK. I'm finally getting the hang of it, but I can't say I'm passionate about it. The pay and the cool co-workers make it bearable, though. I'm still struggling with staying in a boring but stable and responsible career versus doing something completely stupid and exciting. If I don't post again within 3 hours, I ran away on my motorcycle and am writing a novel while sitting on a ledge in Machu Picchu.

My New Toy

2007-06-20T11:33:00.001-07:00

Last week, I bought a 1997 Honda Shadow Spirit 1100. I couldn't resist the temptation to get a bike and go cruising up and down the beautiful coastline here. I love this bike!!!!!

New Tattoo

2007-05-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

I got a new tattoo last week. Here's the video:

Mr. Diety

2007-04-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

This site is hilarious:

http://www.mrdeity.com/

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

2007-04-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies."

I was very saddened to read that Kurt Vonnegut has died. Besides thoroughly enjoying several of his books, seeing him speak while I was in college was a significant event in my life. All at once, I came away from his talk having a new perspective on aging. He was brilliant and curious at 74 years old--a far cry from the view much of our society has about our elders. He gave me the vision that growing old could be a continuous journey of new discoveries and wonderment rather than a decline into stagnancy. Maintaining curiosity and unending personal growth have been guiding principles of my life ever since.

During that same speech, he put names to many of the ideas that had been churning in my head for some time. The first time I ever heard the term "secular humanism," it came from his mouth. He spoke about his faith in our capacities as humans to better ourselves and our environment without the palliative of religion.

I have an odd problem of not remembering most of the things I read. I could read an entire book and not be able to tell you much about it two months later. But I still recall very vivid things from every work of Kurt Vonnegut's that I ever read. All of his fictional works are both biting and touching. They fill his readers with hope while chiding us all for our foolishness. Some of my favorites:

Cat's Cradle--the ultimate parody of religion (see quote above) in which the world is destroyed by fanatics
Bluebeard--about a contemporary of Jackson Pollack whose works are now forgotten because he accepted a sponsorship from Dura Luxe paints, which, ironically, dissolved over time
Jailbird--the richest woman in the world masquerades as a homeless woman to avoid the pitfalls of enormous wealth

While speaking to us at the auditorium on the University of Southern Mississippi campus, he made a typically-Vonnegut, dark joke about his friend who had recently passed away being in heaven, then explained that the joke lay in the fact that secular humanists don't believe in heaven. Mr. Vonnegut, I'm sure you and your friend are having a grand old time these days laughing at us all from heaven.

Random Issues of Citizenship

2007-04-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

While at the DMV yesterday getting my motorcycle license, I had a rather odd experience. The website clearly stated that the only things I needed to bring with me were my valid CA driver's license and the form showing I had completed a motorcycle safety course. So, when the man behind the desk asked me for my passport and/or birth certificate, I knew something was a little weird.

Let me back up a bit to relate the full oddity of this particular DMV visit. As I'm filling out my forms to begin with, some guy is standing alone nearby with his arms crossed. He gives this loud "Hmmph," shakes his head, and looks around surreptitiously to see if anyone is paying enough attention to him to actually ask him what's wrong. The lines were not long at all, so I was a little curious what he was so upset about, but I ignored him. A few minutes later, I made the mistake of actually making eye contact with him, and he immediately blurted out something to the effect of "They just let anyone come into this country and get a driver's license without being a citizen. They don't even have to speak English."

I didn't respond verbally (in retrospect I wish I had), but gave him my best "Whatever, you ignorant fuck" look and proceed with my business. A few minutes later, I hear him say the exact same thing to some woman standing next to him. I realize there are a lot of ignorant racists in this country (after all, I grew up in the deep South), but it still baffles me to see something like that. Is this guy really so threatened by something (what, exactly?) that he feels the need to make some completely illogical racist comment in the middle of a DMV? Did he actually expect to find someone else to commiserate and validate his miserable viewpoint? I wonder if he just failed his test and then watched some more intelligent Mexican immigrant pass his. It's funny how you can find yourself surrounded by well-educated people most of the time in your everyday life and take for granted that everyone thinks that way. It takes a trip to the DMV to remind you why the world is the way it is. In the end, I find myself "Hmmph"ing and shaking my head at him.

On with the story. Apparently, the system said that my social security number was not valid. I was not being recognized as a US citizen. After verifying that he had entered the number correctly, I was a bit baffled. I tried to explain that I had to have presented those documents to get my CA license in the first place. No luck. He insists I wasn't born in the US. (Did my accent give it away?) I insist that I have never lived anywhere else. I was born in Minnesota.

While he goes to discuss the matter with his supervisor, I'm beginning to ponder the possibilities. Did my contributions to Moveon.org and the Marijuana Policy Project come back to bite me in the ass? Did someone in the Bush regime think I was worth erasing? Would CIA agents be petting my dog and waiting for me when I got home? How could I possibly not be a citizen of any country and still live on this planet?

Fortunately, they were very nice about it and allowed me to actually go and take the test while they straightened things out. In the end, they figured out the mistake in the system, and the whole incident just became a rather amusing trip to the DMV.

Lesson learned: never take anything for granted.

Shows, Celebs

2007-04-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

If they're coming to your city anytime soon, do yourself a favor and go see Bloc Party. The new album is decent, but not on par with the first album. The live show, however, hasn't suffered. They tore it up at the Wiltern a few weeks ago. I was in the balcony and a little scared for my life. For the entire show, everyone was jumping around on beat and making the balcony shake. Until I decided to just relax and enjoy the fact that dying in the midst of one of my favorite passtimes wouldn't be so bad, I was honestly wondering just how old that balcony was and how much abuse it could take.

Also worth seeing is Brett Dennen. His new album is fantastic as well. He's like a giant, red-headed, bare-footed, singer/songwriter orgre who swallowed a black, female calypso singer. I'd place him somewhere between Tracy Chapman and Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. Generally avoiding the "woe is me, let me tell you about my breakups" approach of most contemporary singer/songwriters, his subject matter is generally upbeat and interspersed with some sharp political commentary. The music is great, but the spectacle is worth the price of admission.

As promised, the celeb sighting:

I was at the Hotel Cafe in Hollywood a few weeks ago (one of my favorite places here--a bit reminiscent of Eddie's Attic for you Atlanta folk) watching David Ryan Harris (also good live, but I hear his album sucks). We arrived late and were standing in the back when I turn to my right. Standing about two feet from me was John Mayer (holy Eddie's Attic connection, Batman!). He was with some short, brunette who I didn't get a good look at. After a while, I got a better look at her, and it was actually Jessica Simpson. John Mayer was a little taller than me, and she barely came up to my chest with huge heels on. And, sorry to disappoint, but she's not very cute in person. I probably wouldn't have given her a second look if she wasn't famous. (Now, if she was wearing the Daisy Duke outfit, that might be a different story...) There were a couple funny moments involving them, but my favorite was when they were sneaking off to the back room for some privacy and some guy accosted John Mayer to say, "Hey! John! John! I'm your Myspace friend!" Classic.

The Meaning of Life

2007-03-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

Several of us in this circle of blogs have expressed various thoughts and feelings about what to do with our lives in an overall sense. Based on my own experiences and what I know of all of your recent experiences, I think I'm approaching an answer. Unfortunately, I don’t think there is any way to have a sudden, grand epiphany about these things. The realization will only come after many years and many steps of getting closer and closer to your ultimate purpose.

The answer I’m coming to is that experience is the only thing that will teach you what you like/want and don’t like/don’t want in your life, and experience is much more time consuming than thought. I think I remember Lisa hinting at something similar a while back. It’s great to reflect and weigh all of the factors in your head, but it helps to gather more experience first, then pull back and analyze your overall impressions of the experience as well as your impression of specific components of the experience. Collecting more and more life experiences is the only way to get a clearer and clearer picture of what you really want.

For example, if you don’t like your job, look for something else immediately and actually go do it! You can start by breaking down the characteristics of your current job into things you enjoy about it and things you don’t enjoy about it. Then, start by looking at other jobs that have a lot of the things you enjoy and less of the things you don’t. It doesn’t have to be the perfect job, your new job just has to be an improvement over the old job. If you spend all of your time trying to come up with an idea of what the perfect job would be and not taking any action until you come up with something, you are just wasting your time. Having a new, even slightly better job puts you in a better position in terms of overall happiness, and it also gives you a new set of experiences to work with. With more experience under your belt, you have so much more information to guide you towards finding your perfect job. Rinse and repeat.

The same principle applies for everything else in life. Suppose you know you should get in shape, but you hate running. Don’t ever run again! Try swimming, lifting weights, yoga, pilates, martial arts, cycling, etc. and see how you like those. Sitting around pondering the perfect exercise isn’t going to get you into shape. Gaining experiences in many different areas of life will give you a clearer image of your overall goals and purpose in life. Plus, just taking action of any kind gives you a sense of progress and control over your life and your destiny.

Vegas, Baby!

2007-03-21T11:56:00.000-07:00

To celebrate my being done with school and my friend Kay's birthday, I went to Las Vegas this past weekend for the first time since moving here. We had a blast! (Pictures coming soon.) I'm not much of a dance club type of person, but I have to admit that I had a great time at Revolution. (Vodka and Red Bull helps!) For shits and giggles, I decided I was going to speak with an Irish accent for the entire evening and kept it up until around 2 AM when I just got drunk and forgot about it. It was interesting having serious conversations with my friends while talking with an Irish accent. As for the gambling, I came out exactly even after a couple hours of blackjack. I also tried to start things off with $5 on red at the roulette table (a la Entourage), but the minimum bet was $10. So, I bet twice on red and won $20!

I also have a couple of concerts to report on and a celebrity couple sighting, but you'll just have to wait until I have some more time for that.

6.5 Years

2007-03-13T09:57:00.000-07:00

What do 6.5 years look like on paper? Maybe like this:

PhDone!

2007-03-07T10:45:00.000-08:00

I FINALLY defended my thesis on Monday. I'm done, done, and done! No more school! No more Hemby lab! It feels great being a PhD rather than a PhD*.

It was also great being back in Atlanta for a little while afterwards and being able to relax with the good friends who are still there.

Happy Mardi Gras!

2007-02-20T19:42:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize how much I missed New Orleans until I walked into the cafeteria in my building at work and saw crawfish etouffe, fried okra, red beans and rice, and bread pudding. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I think the chef is from N'Awlins, so they decorated the whole place and played Zydeco music, too. The good news is that I'll be heading there in late April for Jazz Fest. Can't wait!

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

How to Drive a Lotus

2007-02-12T19:15:00.000-08:00

If you should ever find yourself behind the wheel of a Lotus Elise, I highly recommend driving rapidly on twisty mountain roads. For example:

Update

2007-02-07T10:19:00.000-08:00

Just thought I'd post a quick update on a few things.

I had an amazing snowboarding trip to Colorado a few weeks ago. I'll post pics as soon as my camera gets fixed--it was either the freezing temperatures or one particularly nasty fall that did it in. Several of my high school friends have been getting together once a year for a ski trip. I recently got back in touch with them, so I got invited this year. One of my friends lives in Denver, which made it easy for everyone to meet there and then ride up to Keystone and Vail. This was only my second time snowboarding, but I was with three guys who were all pretty decent skiers. So, I pushed myself to keep up with them and got a lot better in a hurry. Bruises build character. I had a fantastic time on the slopes and hanging out with good old friends.

In other news, I FINALLY have a defense date set--March 5th. Not bad, considering I submitted the first draft of my thesis to my advisor on February 25th of LAST YEAR! I'm trying to motivate myself to study, but it's been difficult. I'm a little nervous, considering I've been out of the lab for over a year and have given very little thought to cocaine and GABA since then. I can't believe it will finally be over in less than a month!

As for this weekend, I'll be skipping some studying responsibilities for a jaunt to the self-dubbed "American Riviera" of Santa Barbara. Oh yeah, and the coolest part is that I'm renting a Lotus Elise with my friend Kathy for the trip. Apparently, Enterprise rents all sort of exotic cars in LA. I'm looking forward to some twisty mountain roads, great scenery, the wind blowing through my hair, and the finely-tuned whir of the Lotus's engine. We also have a beachside hotel and massages waiting for us in Santa Barbara!

Wincing the Night Away

2007-01-24T09:51:00.000-08:00

The new Shins album, Wincing the Night Away, is fantastic. Go buy it now. "Phantom Limb," "Sea Legs," "Turn on Me," "Spilt Needles," and "A Comet Appears" are my favorites, but I think the whole thing is great. They're doing a free in-store performance at Amoeba music in Hollywood this Friday. You can bet I will be there.

I'm also looking forward to the new albums by Bloc Party (release date: February 6th) and Lovedrug (release date: March 6th).

Frank Lloyd Wright

2007-01-15T12:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I decided to drive around Los Angeles to see the houses designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. Over an afternoon, I was able to drive past all five of the houses in Los Angeles. There are three others in surrounding cities that I didn't make it to. He also designed a shopping center on Rodeo Drive, but it's really not too impressive.

The first house I drove by was the Sturges House in Brentwood, very close to where I live. As you'll see from the other pictures, this house was unique among the five. It was the last house built in the area, so it has a more modern style than his other LA houses.

Notice the Labrador Retriever on the roof.

The next couple of houses I saw are in the Hollywood Hills. The first one is the John Storer House. If I could choose one of the five to live in, I think this would be it.

Then, I went to the Samuel Freeman House. This one was located near the end of a dead-end road on a hillside with some pretty spectacular views. It was a very narrow space to turn around (even in my Civic), and probably not really worth the effort. I'm not sure how big the house actually is because it's built on the side of a mountain, and only a small bit of is abuts the road. The rest goes down the mountain where you can't see it. I may try to get a better view from somewhere below sometime.

The Hollyhock House was the first house Frank Lloyd Wright built in the area and was his first attempt to establish a regionally-specific style. It's also the only one that is open to the public. Unfortunately, I just missed the last tour of the day, so I'll have to go back sometime. The location of this one was unique. All of the others are located on windy roads up in the mountains. This one is located on top of an isolated hill with fantastic views of basically all of LA, including the nearby Hollywood sign.

You can also see the final house I visited, the Ennis House, from the Hollyhock House.

Like most of the others, the Ennis House used the concrete block style that Wright used in the area. The design of the house mimicks a Mayan temple. Unfortunately, as you can see, the house has been neglected and was severely damaged by the 1994 Northridge earthquake and heavy rains in 2004. Eric Lloyd Wright (Frank's grandson) is overseeing the renovation, and the house is currently closed to the public.

More Sports History

2007-01-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

In their 40-year history, the New Orleans Saints have won just 2 playoff games. They have made the playoffs only 6 times. Last season, the Saints were 3-13. As of yesterday, the Saints are now only one victory away from going to the Super Bowl.

Most people would probably say that this doesn't rank up there with the Red Sox winning the World Series, but I disagree. While I admire the loyalty of BoSox fans and am happy for their win, they have played in the World Series before. So, they weren't always THAT bad.

The Dallas Cowboys own the largest turnaround in NFL history and went from 4-12 to winning the Super Bowl the next season. The Saints are playing for NFL history.

Of course all of this couldn't have happened at a better time. Part of last season's 3-13 record resulted from Hurricane Katrina forcing the Saints to play all of their "home" games in unfamiliar places. If not for the success story of the Saints, the nation would have all but forgotten about the current state of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. The city is still in horrible condition. The economy is almost nonexistent, and tourism is not picking up appreciably. A Saints Super Bowl victory would provide a much-needed boost to both the spirit and the economy of New Orleans.

Who dat!

Big Biotech

2007-01-09T15:38:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm coming up on a year in my new job in big biotech. Overall, it hasn't been that different from what I expected, but a few things are noteworthy.

First of all, I don't really mind working in a cubicle so much. Sure, I have the annoying, gossipy girls who will sometimes gather in the next cube and draw my wrath. But...it does have its advantages over the lab (where I never had office space). For one, I have my own private space that I can keep as messy as I want. I'm also not constantly being exposed to all of the carcinogens and mutagens that everyone around me happens to be using. I might get carpel tunnel syndrome or a sore neck, but that's about it.

I'm also not bothered as much as I thought I would be by the "cog in the wheel" feeling of industry. Again, there is the downside that I don't feel super-important or especially needed. However, I feel like I'm much more a part of something important. I collaborate with tons of people on different aspects of different projects. We are all working together to produce something--unlike the lab, where I always felt like everyone was scurrying around to publish data that might never amount to anything significant.

Most importantly, I can see how the work I'm doing is actually improving people's lives. You can be cynical if you want and say that we're just trying to make a buck, but who makes any money in the long run if the product doesn't help people? Not every product I work on will make it to market, but I can guarantee that every project I worked on in grad school will never matter to anyone. So, overall, I'm pretty happy with my decision.

I also have an idea that I've mentioned to a couple of you before. Everything in our society is market-driven, right? So, why don't people in academia get paid much? Two reasons--they aren't producing much that's marketable, and there is a great abundance of workers to do the work. Now, that being said, I wouldn't say that academic research is worthless by any means. Most (if not all) of the important discoveries that lead to treatments came from research initially done in academia. But let's be realistic--how many millions of taxpayer dollars get wasted every year on research that just isn't important to anyone, possibly even the people doing it? Academic research is driven by the number of publications one can produce and the amount of grant money one can accumulate. So, what ends up happening? The people who get the money and the publications aren't necessarily the ones doing the best research--they're just the best salesmen and/or politicians.

The quality of the research itself also suffers relative to industry. When labs desperately need publications and preliminary data for grants to stay afloat, anything publishable gets published, regardless of the quality of the data. By contrast, every minute step of every procedure in a good company is checked and double-checked for quality before any data is used for any purpose. It can only hurt a company to get a product to market that hasn't been thoroughly investigated. If someone dies or some unforeseen side effect occurs, that company not only loses all of the money they spent developing the drug, but will most likely lose more in lawsuits than they made selling the drug. So, what if an academic investigator fudges some data or inadvertently mixed up some compounds in an experiment or uses the wrong statistical analysis? Quite often, those results still get published, and not necessarily in a bad journal. Sometimes the fraud gets discovered, but not always. The end result--publications and grant money supersede discovering the truth.

Unlike some people who just like to complain, I'd actually like to propose a solution to this problem. I think it begins with more people moving into industry. There are plenty of jobs in industry that serve all different types of interests (including lab work). In the short term, people who are "poor and passionate" in academic research get rewarded more handsomely for their efforts and get the satisfaction of knowing that their work is part of something that is making a difference in people's lives.

Over the long term, a number of other changes occur. My theory is that most people who end up in academia just do it because it's the "safe" thing to do, and they just don't know enough about what else is out there. I know plenty of people who have left academia for industry and are quite happy with their decision. I'm sure there are some examples out there, but I don't personally know anyone who has done the opposite. What would happen if a mass exodus from academia to industry occurred? Supply and demand happen. Suddenly, the scarcity of academic researchers drives up the premium for personnel. Lab techs, grad students, post docs, and principal investigators can all demand a higher salary for their efforts because they're more in-demand.

What about the quality of research? Fewer labs producing fewer results mean that every piece of data can be more carefully scrutinized. Who can actually say that they are abreast of absolutely everything in their field right now? That probably wouldn't change in an absolute sense, but the people involved in research in any given field would be less inundated with useless information. Fewer manuscripts submitted also means that several less reputable journals in any given field would go out of business. Admittedly, more competition for fewer journals would likely make political connections even more important than they already are, but it also means that each published paper would be reviewed more thoroughly. Any journal getting caught publishing enough low-quality articles would lose respect in the community and would lose advertising money.

Even if the overall amount of grant money remains unchanged, investigators get more money at a time. That means investigators can spend more time running their labs and less time writing grants. That also means that the drive for publications and grants gets diminished to the point that investigators aren't struggling to publish every scrap of data they have. They are more free to pursue quality over quantity.

So, making the move into industry not only boosts your earning potential, but actually contributes to the overall quality of research.

Happy Haahlidays!

2006-12-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

The LA Auto Show

2006-12-12T22:30:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday, I went to the LA Auto Show. I've never been to an auto show before, but it was pretty much what you would expect--great if you like cars! Here are some highlights:

A Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano.

For $1 million, you can get a Bugatti Veyron with 1001 horsepower!

A Spyker C8 Spyder. Maybe my new dream car.

Me with the car I would actually buy if I were rich: a Tesla Roadster. The world's first electric sports car. 0-60 MPH in 4 seconds, top speed of 135 MPH, and NO emissions because it's ELECTRIC!

I also look very nice in a Porsche Cayman.

A Mazda concept car.

An Aston Martin V8 Vanquish.

A Honda concept car.

A Maybach concept car.

A Saab concept car.

Hmmm...I think the Lotus fits nicely, too.

The Commute

2006-12-02T15:24:00.000-08:00

Since moving to Santa Monica, I've wanted to document my drive to work in photos. It usually takes me about 50 minutes each way, but maybe these pictures will help to convey why it's not so bad.

First, my apartment.
After dealing with a little bit of traffic and a few stop lights, I make it out to Pacific Coast Highway (PCH). The ocean is on the left.
MALIBU: 0BR/2BA apartment, oceanside, $1000/mo.Some rich person's castle in Malibu:
Then, I turn off PCH into Malibu Canyon.

You can just barely see the ocean in between the peaks in the middle of this picture, and the road I drove up is off to the right:

That's a Ferrari, two Lotuses, and a Porsche in front of me.

Another view of the canyon.

Coming out of the canyon going through Calabasas (home of Jessica Simpson, Kelsey Grammar, and Rebecca Romijn).

The final stretch in on the 101 freeway through the Conejo Valley.

Turning 30

2006-11-13T19:55:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics from my 30th birthday party. So much fun! I got to bed around 5AM.

As promised...

2006-11-09T23:35:00.000-08:00

Wine-ing

2006-11-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

Haven't posted in a while, so I just thought I'd give a quick update. The house hunting is losing steam. I love my current apartment, and I'm leaning heavily towards staying there and paying off some of my debt instead of acquiring more.

We had an offsite for work last Friday in the Santa Ynez Valley--wine tasting! For those of you who have seen "Sideways," you would have recognized a lot of what we saw. For those of you who watch "The Bachelor," you would have recognized our tourguide at the Firestone winery. Overall, it was a fun day. Lots of beautiful scenery, getting paid to go drink wine with my co-workers, etc. I have to say that I am actually less of a fan of wine after the trip, though. I probably tasted 15 or so different wines and didn't like any of them enough to buy a bottle. Apparently, my tastes are far removed from those of the wine aficionados. I did learn some interesting things about wine making, though. I also learned that my palate is unable to distinguish most of the flavors people claim are in their wines. My criteria is much more prosaic--I either like it or I don't. My favorite part of the trip, I think, was tasting the grapes fresh off of the vine.

My parents sent me a digital camera for my birthday, so I can finally start including more pictures in my blog. Even though it arrived before my birthday (Saturday), it was a few days late to give you guys pictures of the wine tasting trip. Expect some pictures of my gorgeous drive to work and my dog dressed up for Halloween, though.

Finally, I'm having a big 3-0 birthday bash on Saturday. Should be fun. I will document with pictures.

Oh yeah, and Go SAINTS!

Unreal estate

2006-10-23T08:59:00.000-07:00

I began officially looking for condos in LA this past weekend. Not encouraging.

Basically, my options thus far are as follows:

buy a 1 bedroom I really can't afford in an area I really love (Santa Monica)
buy a 2 bedroom I really can't afford (but could get a roommate to help) in an area I'm not so crazy about (San Fernando Valley)
buy a 2 bedroom I could possibly afford in an area that would bore the ever living shit out of me (Thousand Oaks)

I'm left with 2 big questions:

Why does it seem that happiness and responsibility are so often at odds?
How the hell do so many people buy anything out here?

Who Dat?

2006-09-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

As a kid, I grew up watching the New Orleans Saints. My first live sporting event was the Saints versus the Green Bay Packers in the Louisiana Superdome. I think one of the major regrets of my life may be that I was not at the Superdome last night.

There have been many fine articles written about what last night's game meant to post-Katrina New Orleans (and my eyes welled up with almost every one that I read), so I won't give my own account here. The Saints were 2-0 heading into last night's game against the division-rival Atlanta Falcons. Their 2 victories came against less than stellar teams (the Browns and the Packers), so no one really thought they could beat the Falcons (who looked excellent in their two victories). Maybe it was just the emotion of the night, but the Saints played like they were possessed, winning 23-3.

I've had a chant from my childhood running through my head since the game:

Who dat? Who dat? Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?

Fall

2006-09-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

I always loved that first day when the weather in the South turned from blistering hot to chilly. There was always one particular day when the clouds kept the sky dark, the wind just kept blowing all day, and you had to break out the fleece for the first time. Something about those days always invigorated my spirit after the long, hot summer.

Today is probably the closest I'll get to that in California. After an entire summer of beautiful (but usually not that hot) sunshine, the clouds are coming back. It's dark and windy and a little bit chilly outside.

9/11 Commentary

2006-09-12T14:10:00.000-07:00

I may have sent this to most of you already, but it's definitely worth posting again. It also goes along well with Wendy's blog.

Keith Olbermann's 9/11 commentary

Gin Rummy

2006-08-31T09:29:00.000-07:00

Why is Donald Rumsfeld still in office? Is he just such an aggressive buffoon that no one wants to call him out and risk a confrontation? Does he have naked pictures of other powerful people? Why is no one holding this guy accountable?

The other day, our esteemed secretary of defense talked about lessons from history. (http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/08/29/rumsfeld.ap/index.html) In particular, he mentioned failed attempts to appease Adolf Hitler. "I recount this history because once again we face the same kind of challenges in efforts to confront the rising threat of a new type of fascism" he said.

Rumsfeld may have a point here. Fascist regimes tend to rise to power surreptitiously, gradually usurping the liberties of the citizens. Messy revolutions draw a lot of opposition, but no one objects as little freedoms disappear here and there. Until, one day when it's too late, people wake up in the midst of a pernicious dictatorship and say, "How did this happen?"

So, I have a question for Mr. Rumsfeld. Were you comparing Adolf Hitler to yourself, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, or all three?

I Took the Plunge

2006-08-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

Well, after 5 times out using rentals, I finally decided to shell out for a surfboard of my own. It's a 9'6" Modern board. I'd post pics, but, alas, no digital camera (maybe my next major purchase). We went out in my friend's Jeep Liberty, and I left the board at her house afterwards. So, I haven't been able to see how funny a 9'6" longboard will look strapped to the top of a Honda Civic.

I'm proud to say that I rode one wave all the way in to shore on my new board. Other than that, the waves weren't too good yesterday. Apparently, I'm a good teacher, though, because my friend who had never surfed before stood up 2 1/2 times.

Momentum

2006-07-26T22:36:00.000-07:00

I often think about how many principles from other sciences also apply to psychology and sociology--evolution, uncertainty, entropy, activation energy, etc. One of the most frequent themes I come back to is momentum. It's where the saying, "When it rains it pours" comes from. Doesn't it seem like when you're in a rut, your thoughts and actions tend to keep you in that rut? When you're feeling great, don't your thoughts and actions, conversely, tend to keep you moving in a positive direction?

For example, I've noticed that when I'm tired and/or depressed, I tend to act in ways that keep me moving in that downward spiral. I don't talk to other people as often. I spend a lot more time mulling over depressing things and wishing things were different. I'm not as active in terms of both exercise and hobbies. I do all of these things despite the fact that I know full well that the only way out of my funk is to do all of those things. It's just so hard to do the things that I know will make me feel better.

On the other hand, when I'm already feeling great I do things that keep me feeling great. I enjoy talking to almost everyone I encounter. When I'm by myself, I'm enjoying the moment, thinking about how great things are going, and dreaming about all of the cool things I'm going to do. I exercise a lot more and engage in my hobbies with enthusiasm. Things that would normally stress me out I take in stride.

May life find you all experiencing positive momentum.

p = mv

Valet

2006-07-21T08:43:00.000-07:00

So, I went to see the Fray at the House of Blues on Sunset Strip last night. Great show! Augustana opened up and were also excellent (they sound a bit Travis-y). The Fray opened their set with a cover of "Elanor Rigby," and their encore numbers featured a surprise appearance by John Mayer. All around fantastic evening, until...

the valet parking. For 3000 people.

I've personally never been a fan of valet and think it is one of the absolutely ridiculous excesses of LA. If you are severely crippled or just old as hell, sure, I can understand it. Even then, isn't that what handicap parking spots are for? I can't tell you how many times I've been forced to pay anywhere from $1 to $20 just so someone can do something that I'm perfectly capable of and willing to do myself. I don't mind a little walk. Really. The only justification I've heard that makes any sense is that it gives jobs to people who would otherwise be unemployed.

You can really get a sense of the absurdity of valet parking, though, when you leave a packed concert and see thousands of your fellow concert-goers waiting in line with you for their cars. I actually didn't have to wait that long for my car, but that's only because certain situations prompt me to act less than ethically. (If you don't look people in the eye, they may not make the effort to tell you that the back of the line is about 200 feet behind you. People with their backs turned may also not notice when you slide up an extra 10 or 15 feet.) I may have felt bad about it except that my fellow concert-goers in this case were mostly college-aged kids who could probably skip a class and sleep in if they wanted to. Those of us in the real world can't wait until 3AM for someone to bring our car.

Anyway, I had a great night, but I'm constantly baffled by how ridiculous LA can be.

Sun of Beach

2006-07-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted much in a while, so I thought I'd post a quick update. Not much new going on--work is fine, been to some shows, etc. I have started actually hanging out at the the beach in Santa Monica the last couple of weekends, though. Before, I would take my dog for walks down there, but it's illegal to take her on the sand. So, I've ventured down there sans dog a few times to lie with the multitudes of sunbathers, carefully avoiding the volleyball and frisbee players. Of course, the weather in Santa Monica has been absolutely perfect--mid 70s, slight breeze, and hardly a cloud in the sky. It's so relaxing to lie in the soft sand, listen to the waves, and feel the warm sun on your skin. Living a mile from the beach has its perks!

The Ladies Man

2006-06-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

You don't have to live in LA very long to start seeing some celebrities out and about. I was just at the Summer Soulstice festival in Santa Monica over the weekend watching a Doors cover band, when who should be standing a few feet behind me but The Ladies Man himself--Tim Meadows. I can't be more than 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon now!

Sunshine

2006-06-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

Nothing really special going on, but I thought I'd write about the weather. It makes me really happy to wake up to sunshine and then drive by the beach and through the mountains. The fact that I'm just going to work doesn't really bother me then. This is the first day that it's been sunny in the morning in a while, though.

Every year in LA, we get what they call "June gloom" (even though it started in early May). It doesn't really rain much, but for a month or so it's always just nasty and cloudy and, well, gloomy. So, I've been waking up to gloomy clouds and having to drive to work. Once I get on the other side of the mountains, it's pretty variable as to whether or not there will be sun. Typically, it will be cloudy in the morning but the clouds will burn off by lunchtime. Then, when I go home, I pass through the mountains back into a thick, gloomy fog.

I'm not sure how long it will stay, but the sunshine is back today. It helps me to remember some of the reasons why I moved to LA and why I'm getting up to an alarm at 6:30.

(I don't have a digital camera, so I get all of my pictures off of the internet. This one was taken somewhere in Malibu and I probably drive past it on my way to work. I live towards the left side of the shore that you see in the distance.)

Still writing...

2006-06-11T20:53:00.000-07:00

I think I may have sent off the final version of the intro to my thesis today. (I hope.) This is dragging on way longer than I ever thought possible. Part of the problem is exemplified by the fact that today I decided I would rather clean my entire apartment, do laundry, wash and wax my car, and write this blog than work on the next chapter. I am armed with coffee and ready to go, though. Hopefully soon. After this chapter, I'm still waiting on the discussion. I'm hoping for only minor revisions to that.

Hmmm. My dog needs a bath.

My First Wave

2006-06-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

It took three surf outings, but I finally caught my first wave! For five whole seconds, I understood why people are so addicted to surfing. The time between my first and second trips was so long that I didn't really retain much. By the end of my second trip, my paddling had become much more efficient and I was feeling much more balanced on the board, but...alas...I only managed to catch a couple of waves on one knee. During the third trip, I picked up a few more helpful hints and tricks from a guy named Bruce I was surfing with. Armed with some new knowledge and experience, I managed to stand up a couple of times. The first time didn't really count because I fell off almost immediately. When I finally rode a wave standing up, I caught a glimpse of why I had been exhausting myself and eating so much dirty saltwater.

I have to admit that I got pretty frustrated during my first couple of trips out. I was beginning to wonder why I was punishing myself so much. Seeing people riding waves didn't give me the impression that it would be worth all of the effort when I finally stood up. It was pretty thrilling, though, while it lasted. Fortunately, I've also gotten more efficient at paddling out in the first place, so it's not quite as much work. Unfortunately, the experience was so brief and no one had a camera that day, so I have no visual evidence. Here are a couple of pictures of me in a wetsuit on the beach before the second time out. (The weather wasn't so good that day.)

It's funny because it's true...

2006-05-15T11:51:00.000-07:00

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what about a picture of words?

Coachella

2006-05-01T10:50:00.000-07:00

I am currently absolutely exhausted after going to Coachella this weekend. It was amazing. My Morning Jacket, Matisyahu, and Bloc Party were the highlights for me. The Magic Numbers were also really good. There were several bands I missed because they were playing at the same time as someone I wanted to see a little bit more. Among the various interesting art pieces, they had a giant Tesla coil that shot lightning out to strategically-placed water fountains.

I also hate Madonna. When we arrived on Sunday morning, she was rehearsing her ENTIRE set, and they roped off a large chunk of the grounds around the tent so no one could sneak a peak. This area just happened to include the tent with internet access and phone chargers, so there was a huge crowd waiting to get in by the time she was done. Some other people who heard more of it said she was even rehearsing all of the stuff she says to the crowd like, "I can't hear you--give me some love!" Then, when she actually played, all of the other stages shut down. I can't stand people who are so full of themselves. Someone needs to kick her in her Kabala-loving cunt. I wonder if she talked to Matisyahu while they were both there.

Apart from ridiculous celebrities who name themselves after the mother of Jesus, it was just great being out in the sunshine and people watching and seeing great bands playing for an entire weekend. Camping in the desert was also, er, interesting. I booked a nearby campsite to avoid the craziness on site. Following the directions to the campsite brought us past a smelly recycling center and some other industrial-looking places in the desert. We finally pulled up on this dirt road and some guy said we could pitch our tent anywhere on the side of the road. So, it was basically just a patch of desert on the side of a dirt road with nothing to distinguish it from the surrounding area. It was also incredibly windy at night. Fortunately, we survived the night in the desert and made it to Denny's the next morning on our way to the show.

I was very happy to get home and shower. I'd love a little more sleep, though.

LA Sports Fans

2006-04-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

This past week was LA sports week for me. I attended two Clippers games and a Dodgers game. The Clippers games were what you might expect from the red-headed step-child of LA basketball. (You mean LA has TWO pro basketball teams?) The Clippers actually did really well this year and are seeded ahead of the once-mighty Lakers in the playoffs. Despite that, the crowd size and enthusiasm was pretty pathetic at both games. I'm guessing that most of the people in attendance were not long-time Clippers fans. If the Saints ever make it to the NFL playoffs again, you can be damn sure there will be a lot of noise and celebration at the game(s). Not so at the Clippers games. They just inspire curiosity like a baby tiger born at the zoo. ("Where'd that come from?" "The mother tiger's vagina." "Oh, cool.") Despite the general lack of enthusiasm, I am a Clippers fan. What can I say--I like the underdog.

Dodgers games, on the other hand, are quite an experience. Barry Bonds is not a welcome guest in Dodger Stadium. I felt like I went to a prison riot and a Dodgers game broke out. I have never seen such hostile fans in my life (and I've supported the opposing team at Alabama football games before). I have also never seen so many arrests at a sporting event. When I first got to the game, I was pretty disappointed that they didn't serve beer in the bleacher section where we were sitting. By the second or third inning, I understood why. My favorite part of the game were the people wearing the Lucha Libre Dodgers masks.

Driving in LA

2006-04-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

It seems like everywhere I've ever lived, locals claim that their area has the worst drivers in the country. In their own way, they're always right, too. Every area seems to have its own brand of bad driving. It takes a while to get used to the nuances of transportation every time you move. I still haven't quite figured out LA traffic yet, but I have a few observations.

First of all, yes, the traffic here is miserable. At times, it is (believe it or not) actually worse than Atlanta. Fortunately, I'm getting a feel for when and where traffic will be bad and learning to avoid it whenever possible. Driving to the Staples Center last night for the Clippers game (go Clips!), it wasn't possible.

As for the driving experience itself, I can't quite put my finger on what's wrong with people here, but I think it may have something to do with the enormous sense of entitlement so many Californians have. My other hypothesis is that a lot of wrecks are caused by people gawking at all of the cars on the road that cost more than really nice houses in most parts of the country. I've seen more wrecks (I refuse to call them "accidents" because usually someone was a dumbass and it wasn't accidental at all) in the first two months here than I saw in four years in Atlanta. In the past week alone, I've seen two cars completely upside-down on the freeway. Some jackass wrecked a $1 million Ferrari Enzo a few weeks ago on PCH.

I can't quite put my finger on why, but it just doesn't ever feel as safe driving here as it does anywhere else in the country. Somehow, the traffic seems looser and less organized than anywhere else (even when you're barely moving). I can't tell you how many times I have gone to change lanes while someone else was simultaneously vying for the same spot. When it's not happening to me, I see it happening to other people all around me. The best way I can describe the freeways here is that every individual on the road seems to think they are the only person who has to get somewhere: every other car on the road is just an obstacle and not a transportation device containing human beings. They just deserve to get where they're going before everyone else. Everyone else will understand this and just let them go where they want to.

On the plus side, the fast lane is generally reserved for faster cars (unlike the Carolinas).

Mammoth Weekend

2006-04-11T08:50:00.000-07:00

As part of my continuing series of new adventures in California, I went snowboarding for the first time this past weekend. I've been skiing a couple of times, but I enjoyed snowboarding a lot more. Once I got past the initial awkwardness (in the beginner class), I took to it pretty well. Much easier than surfing. Not only did I have a lot of fun, but I managed to escape without any bruises or injuries.

We went to Mammoth Mountain, just a bit southeast of Yosemite. It was a gorgeous drive through desert that gradually transitioned into mountains and salt-fields. After snowboarding all day, we crammed 12 people into a 2-bedroom condo at night. Got up the next day and did it again. I can't wait to go again.

Beware the Ninjas

2006-04-06T15:34:00.000-07:00

I went out to the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica for dinner the other night. For those unfamiliar, it's basically an outdoor mall with a bunch of (usually pretty impressive) street performers and (sometimes equally impressive) homeless people. On this particular visit, I was particularly aware of and intrigued by the homeless population. It was obvious that more than a few had serious mental disorders. For example, the guy holding a tape recorder with a large microphone attached. The microphone was covered by a ziplock bag, and he would repeatedly pull it out of his trench-coat pocket, plug and unplug it, and put it back in his pocket. Every fourth or fifth time, he appeared to say no more than a word or two into the microphone before putting it back. He also talked to himself quite a bit without the microphone. Most of the homeless people left me with mixed feelings of sympathy and fright.

My favorite, though, probably didn't have a mental disorder but had the most creative plea for money I've ever seen. He was holding a sign that read, "Entire family killed by ninjas. Need money for karate lessons."

Misogi

2006-03-29T10:50:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm gearing up for my move to Santa Monica on Friday. I'm pretty excited! Besides the apartment itself and the location, it will just be nice to not feel like a transient for a little while.

Last Saturday was a full weekend in itself. I woke up before the sun to go meet a couple guys for my first attempt at surfing. Since I'm not much of a morning person, that was an accomplishment in itself. I have to say it was well worth it, though. With the sun just barely coming up, I was wearing black neoprene, lying on top of a fiberglass plank, and paddling out into the Pacific Ocean.

The first few times people told me that surfing was incredibly hard, I dismissed it. It looks so easy on TV, right? I thought maybe those people just weren't very coordinated or athletic. After a few more people (whose athleticism and coordination I did not question) told me the same story, I started to believe it. There was still a part of me that didn't quite understand what exactly was so hard about it, though. I'm in pretty good shape, and I skateboarded for about 4 years in my early teens. Isn't that preparation enough? The only thing I was really afraid of was the cold water (which, as it turns out, wasn't cold at all with the wetsuit).

A website I just read had a great analogy. Imagine skateboarding or snowboarding during an earthquake. It's not enough to just be able to balance on a moving board...the surface beneath you is actually moving, too! I also discovered that I may be in good shape, but that doesn't help if your movements are inefficient. In the first 20 or 30 minutes, I was utterly exhausted from paddling and fighting the waves. Meanwhile, guys with gray beards were whizzing by me like dolphins. I tend to think in analogies and relationships between different activities, and I see a lot of aikido in this. In particular, Saotome Sensei mentions in one of his books the process of learning to use a sword correctly. At first, you push the sword around with your muscles and get tired quickly. Over time and with many, many repititions, you learn to use the weight of the sword in the most efficient manner possible. In Japanese, the term is "misogi," which I've mostly seen translated as "ritual purification." By performing the ritual over and over, the sword itself teaches your body by purifying your movements.

I expended so much effort just trying to stay balanced on the surfboard while paddling and sitting that I exhausted myself, not to mention my horrible paddle-stroke. Over the course of a couple hours, I only really attempted to catch 4 waves. The process went something like this:

Wave #1: Complete disaster. I'm not really sure what happened, but I ended up swallowing a lot of salt water and the fin broke off of the board. I was borrowing this board from someone I just met that morning, so I felt awful. The screw holding the fin on may just have been loose, but I still feel like it was probably somehow my fault. I couldn't really surf with that board anymore, so I just paddled around for a while until my two friends caught a few waves and offered to switch boards with me. The cool part was that I got to sit and rest on the board for a while and watch dolphins swim around me.

Wave #2: My timing was way off, but I did manage to get a knee up on the board. Unfortunately, I wasn't paddling fast enough and the wave passed me by.

Wave #3: Pretty much the same as last time, but I managed to get both feet on the board (while still clinging to it with my hands). I'm not sure if I could have stood up or not, but by the time I even thought about it the wave was already gone because I again wasn't moving fast enough.

Wave #4: Not only was I so exhausted that I couldn't paddle fast enough, but when I went to lift myself into a standing position my arms just wouldn't do it.

So, misogi, misogi, misogi. I'll get it eventually.

After the surfing, I tried to nap but couldn't. Probably thinking too much about surfing. I took Venus for a walk and then went shopping for snowboarding pants (going in a couple weeks).

I met up with some friends for dinner and then we went to a concert sponsored by the local public radio station KCRW. Check out the lineup: Goldspot, Feist, Sia (of Zero 7), Gomez, Britt Daniel (of Spoon), Ben Harper (with a guest appearance by Ziggy Marley), Franz Ferdinand, and Death Cab for Cutie. I may have even forgotten someone because it was a HUGE show. Everyone pretty much rocked. Any 2 or 3 of them would have made for an amazing show. Unfortunately, I was so sleep deprived and exhausted from surfing that morning that I couldn't really appreciate the last couple of bands. I was nodding off.

On Sunday, I decided that the Christians are on to something with the whole "rest on Sunday" thing.

The Gory Details

2006-03-24T10:20:00.000-08:00

At first, I thought it might be best to leave some things to the imagination in my last post, but this is some good shit.

The scene is Masters on Cheshire Bridge Road, the day after St. Patrick's Day. It doesn't really matter how we got there, but we were there. Curious, let's say. I head directly to the restroom and don't immediately see what's going on in the place.

As I'm leaving the restroom and looking for my friends (no names, but there's a picture below), I don't immediately see them. I only see the upstanding clientele one would normally associate with a low-end strip club. So, I walk around the entire place before I see my friends. As I'm passing the main stage to get to where they are, I turn my head to the right. About ten feet away, a midget stipper is completely nude and doing a handstand. How freakish. I feel like I'm at a circus where Rob Zombie is the ringleader. Of course, I'm so stricken by wonderment that I can't look away as I walk by. My curiosity was then rewarded/punished when, while still doing a handstand, the midget stripper does the splits. Keep in mind she's COMPLETELY naked. And yes, they are small.

As a follow-up to this disturbing exercise in short-limbed balance, "Pixie" gets on all fours and starts shaking her tiny little ass. Wow. Didn't expect that. I'm still just curious how many people in that room were turned on by that and how many shared my WTF? reaction. Because, seriously, WTF?

Fate and midget strippers

2006-03-23T21:12:00.000-08:00

A strange twist of fate brought me back to Atlanta on a business trip only six weeks after starting my new job. I’m utterly objective and scientific-minded most of the time, but sometimes things are just too uncanny for me to not dwell on them a bit. I mean, how many major cities are there in the US that could have potentially hosted the course I attended?

Some insights have been building over the course of my last few visits back to Atlanta:

1. I have realized who the people are that I did not spend nearly enough time with when I lived in Atlanta. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re one of them. Along the lines of “hindsight is 20:20,” I would say that a little bit of distance often provides the perspective you need to really see things clearly. It’s just a shame you can’t see things that way when they’re right in front of your face.

2. Beer and sleep deprivation have a way of allowing the subconscious to emerge.

3. Planning is good, but flexibility is the ultimate virtue. Nothing will ever work out exactly the way you want it to, but if you’re fluid and open to the possibilities in front of you, the potential for happiness and growth are ever-present. Or, as Mick Jagger likes to say, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.”

4. Midget strippers are more bizarre than they are erotic (and they make Wendy look really tall).

5. The original “Rocky” was a great movie in its day, but it’s pretty lame by today’s standards because screenwriters had not yet mastered the fine art of milking emotions by alternating poignancy with humor repeatedly for the last half-hour of a movie. I mean, the ending felt anti-climactic without the drawn-out dance of “I can’t help but empathize with the protagonist in his/her moment of triumph”/ “That was funnier than it would have been otherwise because I was just crying”/ “I am overcome with emotion because my own life lacks the emotional depth of these characters”/ “That makes me laugh and cry at the same time because it was funny in a touching way,” etc. “ADRIAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” while heart wrenching, doesn’t quite capture the drama of the ending in, say, Shrek 2. (For the record, I laughed my ass off at “I’m a real boooooooooooooooy!”)

OK, so the last realization didn’t come in Atlanta. For presentation’s sake, I threw in an earlier realization to create the Hollywood ending that blends insight and humor. Anyone who caught that in real-time gets a bonus point. (Anyone from Atlanta who is reading this and also caught that in real-time is now up by 2 and can just consider themselves the winner—-barring an intentional foul, two missed free throws, and a buzzer-beating three-pointer.) For those of you who prefer raw reality without the salesmanship, you can just end at “Midget strippers are more bizarre than they are erotic.”

Katrina success story

2006-03-16T11:12:00.000-08:00

Well, for all of the horror stories and mudslinging surrounding hurricane Katrina, my brother's story seems to have gone in the opposite direction.

Don't get me wrong, he had a few very rough months at the start of it. Having lived through numerous hurricanes typically hyped as much more than they turned out to be, he initially decided to stay in New Orleans and stick it out. The first turn of fortune in his story came right before the hurricane hit. The week before, he had randomly met up with a girl we went to high school with. She, of all people, managed to convince him to leave. So, he grabbed his dog and a suitcase and drove with her to Nashville, where my parents live.

Suddenly, he lost his home and his source of livelihood. His friends were scattered all over the entire country. After a few weeks of waiting around and wondering what was going to happen, he made up his mind to stay in Nashville, but he still had to go back to New Orleans at some point and find out if anything was left of his possessions. He heard horror stories from his friends who had returned already. He had a quick bit of relief when he returned to find out that his apartment hadn't flooded and no one had stolen anything. A looter had broken the window of his car, but that was it. Things were looking up a bit...until his dog died.

After all of the loss he had recently endured, his dog, Lula, died rather suddenly and mysteriously. Besides being incredibly cute, Lula was the sweetest dog I've ever met. She had been abused and was extremely skittish but would warm up to you and lean against you while you petted her. She got extremely sick one weekend, was vomiting and urinating uncontrollably, and couldn't eat anything. He called the vet before he went to bed, but the vet said to take her in the next day if she was still sick. In the middle of the night, she died. I will never forget the phone call in which he described in detail taking her limp body out of the house. I've handled so many dead rats, I knew exactly what he was talking about. I could hardly imagine how it must have felt for that to be Lula.

He didn't know it at the time, but the worst of it was over. After that, he spent a few months living at my parents' house and starting over in Nashville. Now, I'm sure most of you can imagine how living with your parents for several months could be. Not good. While in the middle of trying to meet people and make contacts to further his musical career, he had to contend with the folks at home. Finally, things blew up and he moved out. Let the healing begin.

Randomly, a friend of his from high school had been living in Nashville for a while and is involved in the music scene there. He gradually started meeting people there and playing a few gigs. At one of those gigs, a guy named Bobby Bare, Jr. happened to catch my brother play. His father, a well-known country singer from an earlier generation (think Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Sr.), needed a bass player for a gig at South by Southwest, the giant music conference in Austin, TX. Not only that, but the guitar player for the band is Carl from My Morning Jacket--one of my favorite bands. The piano player also plays with a couple of the guys from Wilco on occasion. Needless to say, these are some good connections.

As a struggling musician, my brother has become increasingly obsessed with owning some equity in the form of a house. Not too long ago, he found out that he had been approved for a grant intended for musicians displaced by Katrina. So, now he had the down-payment for a house. So, hurricane Katrina forced my brother out of a situation in which he was struggling to get by, not too happy with his life, and not too encouraged about his future prospects and led him into a situation that seems to be getting better all the time.

He called me from the tour bus last night on his way to Austin. Rehearsal went well. He closed on a house in Nashville the other day. It's been a while since I've heard him so relaxed and content.

Did you hear the one about...

2006-03-14T10:34:00.000-08:00

OK, no need to tell me how horrible I am. I already know. It's absolutely wretched of me, but part of me had to chuckle when I read this:

Beauty Queen Death

On a lighter note, Dayna has a great story to share. It also fits with the title of this blog, so go read this next and don't feel so bad about laughing at the last one:

The Greenwood Pooper

Hail, Hail, Bungalow

2006-03-13T23:01:00.000-08:00

Well, for those of you who have been jealous of the California weather, I thought I'd let you know that it hailed here two days in a row. I'm not talking about wimpy, hit-the-ground-and-melt hail, either. It was legitimate, I'm-stuck-in-my-car-and-I-hope-the-damn-windshield-doesn't-shatter hail.

Whilst braving the hail, I also nailed down an apartment on Saturday. I'd post a pic, but they've already removed the online ads. A couple other apartments I wanted got snatched up before I could open my mouth to say "Can I have an application?" It all worked out for the best, though, because I'm much happier with the place I actually got. It's also, oddly enough, a bit cheaper than the other places. My new place is in Santa Monica and is a remodeled old bungalow. So, it's basically a free-standing, tiny one-bedroom house with some character. Venus is going to love it.

Speaking of Venus, I'll be heading to Atlanta this weekend and will be leaving her in doggie day care for the first time ever. Seeing as how she loves absolutely everyone and everything, I'm sure she'll be fine. That doesn't stop me from feeling a bit weird about leaving my dog for five days with complete strangers. Puppies and parents both need a vacation sometimes, though, I suppose. (Venus pic and the earlier Malibu pic courtesy of Lisa Stanek, photographer extraordinair)

For those of you in the ATL, see you this weekend!

The Dude Abides

2006-03-06T12:46:00.000-08:00

Went to Lebowskifest this past weekend. Had a beer with The Dude. Bowled (admire my left-handed form).

This weekend pretty much defined why I was happy to move to LA. Friday night, we had a mini High School reunion with three of us from MS. A friend of mine named Michael Starita who I hadn't seen in 10 years came down from San Francisco because his friend's band was playing. This guy has been a succesful DJ in SF for the last 10 years and is still just as crazy as he was in high school. It was a great time. First, I went to dinner at Mel's Diner in Hollywood (in the movie American Graffiti) with another girl named Melissa who went to our high school. On the way to the club, they were setting up for the Oscars on Hollywood Blvd., so all of the little convenience stores had fake Oscar statues that said things like "Best Dad" and "Best Boss." Of course, I got one for Starita that said "Best Niece." We met him at The Lava Lounge, a dim, chill little place decorated with lava rock walls and bamboo.

I got up early Saturday and went apartment hunting in Santa Monica with a hangover. The place I really wanted went to someone else, but I may have found another place. It's crazy how fast rentals go out here. Saturday night was Lebowskifest. Sunday I slept in, took the dog for a walk, then went to Ventura. We stopped at this tiny little place called, appropriately, "Tacos and Beer." Amazing fish tacos. I then went to a couple of surf shops and purchased a wetsuit (sorry, no pictures). Surfboards are a little expensive, so I'll have to wait on that, though.

Anyway, it was a fantastic weekend. Hope everyone else's was the same.

Here I am

2006-03-03T10:02:00.000-08:00

Despite my better judgment, I've finally started a blog.

I've relocated to California (at least two time zones away from everyone I knew before I came here) and ventured out of academia into industry. So far, I absolutely love it and couldn't be happier with my decision or my situation. The LA area is definitely more my speed than anywhere in North Cackalacka. The weather is amazing. The natural scenery here is gorgeous. There's anything and everything you could ever want to do here. When I email my senators and representatives, I don't get an email back that basically says, "Thanks for the email, but this automated response will thoroughly disregard the importance of any issues you may have addressed by appealing instead to the ideals of the gun-toting, bible-thumping cretins who have allowed this state to remain ass-backwards for so long." I still get automated responses, but at least I feel like I'm preaching to the choir rather than shouting in a barrel by myself.

I'm still trying to remember to call highways "freeways" and put "the" in front of any numbered freeway (the 101, the 405, the 10, etc.). I've also learned that Californians have absolutely no idea how to drive in the rain and are the biggest weather wusses imaginable (50 degree is "cold"). Apart from the occasional person who refuses to acknowledge your existence despite a warm smile and a "hello," people seem generally friendly here. It's hard to imagine being an asshole when it's 70 degrees and sunny almost every day.

I may revisit some of my earlier experiences here later if I'm bored, but, for now, I'm still settling in at work and hunting for apartments in Santa Monica. I've decided that the ~45 minute commute will be worth it. I love Santa Monica--beaches, restaurants, bars, etc. The area where I am now is really beautiful, but much more sleepy and family-oriented. April 1 should be the move date.

After about a week and a half of boring training at work, I was really beginning to wonder what I had gotten myself into. Fortunately, It's been much better since then. I was SOOO excited to read some actual science again instead of just business-related protocols (probably a future blog entry on that). However, I haven't had much to do for the last couple of weeks. I have a meeting on Monday that should give me some actual work to get started on, though. In the meantime, blogging kills the time. It's amazing what free time at work can get you into.

My last thought for the day is that I just saw the "Inside the Actors Studio" with Dave Chappelle last night. I love that guy.