Mr. Diety

This site is hilarious:

http://www.mrdeity.com/

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies."

I was very saddened to read that Kurt Vonnegut has died. Besides thoroughly enjoying several of his books, seeing him speak while I was in college was a significant event in my life. All at once, I came away from his talk having a new perspective on aging. He was brilliant and curious at 74 years old--a far cry from the view much of our society has about our elders. He gave me the vision that growing old could be a continuous journey of new discoveries and wonderment rather than a decline into stagnancy. Maintaining curiosity and unending personal growth have been guiding principles of my life ever since.

During that same speech, he put names to many of the ideas that had been churning in my head for some time. The first time I ever heard the term "secular humanism," it came from his mouth. He spoke about his faith in our capacities as humans to better ourselves and our environment without the palliative of religion.

I have an odd problem of not remembering most of the things I read. I could read an entire book and not be able to tell you much about it two months later. But I still recall very vivid things from every work of Kurt Vonnegut's that I ever read. All of his fictional works are both biting and touching. They fill his readers with hope while chiding us all for our foolishness. Some of my favorites:

• Cat's Cradle--the ultimate parody of religion (see quote above) in which the world is destroyed by fanatics
• Bluebeard--about a contemporary of Jackson Pollack whose works are now forgotten because he accepted a sponsorship from Dura Luxe paints, which, ironically, dissolved over time
• Jailbird--the richest woman in the world masquerades as a homeless woman to avoid the pitfalls of enormous wealth

While speaking to us at the auditorium on the University of Southern Mississippi campus, he made a typically-Vonnegut, dark joke about his friend who had recently passed away being in heaven, then explained that the joke lay in the fact that secular humanists don't believe in heaven. Mr. Vonnegut, I'm sure you and your friend are having a grand old time these days laughing at us all from heaven.

Random Issues of Citizenship

While at the DMV yesterday getting my motorcycle license, I had a rather odd experience. The website clearly stated that the only things I needed to bring with me were my valid CA driver's license and the form showing I had completed a motorcycle safety course. So, when the man behind the desk asked me for my passport and/or birth certificate, I knew something was a little weird.

Let me back up a bit to relate the full oddity of this particular DMV visit. As I'm filling out my forms to begin with, some guy is standing alone nearby with his arms crossed. He gives this loud "Hmmph," shakes his head, and looks around surreptitiously to see if anyone is paying enough attention to him to actually ask him what's wrong. The lines were not long at all, so I was a little curious what he was so upset about, but I ignored him. A few minutes later, I made the mistake of actually making eye contact with him, and he immediately blurted out something to the effect of "They just let anyone come into this country and get a driver's license without being a citizen. They don't even have to speak English."

I didn't respond verbally (in retrospect I wish I had), but gave him my best "Whatever, you ignorant fuck" look and proceed with my business. A few minutes later, I hear him say the exact same thing to some woman standing next to him. I realize there are a lot of ignorant racists in this country (after all, I grew up in the deep South), but it still baffles me to see something like that. Is this guy really so threatened by something (what, exactly?) that he feels the need to make some completely illogical racist comment in the middle of a DMV? Did he actually expect to find someone else to commiserate and validate his miserable viewpoint? I wonder if he just failed his test and then watched some more intelligent Mexican immigrant pass his. It's funny how you can find yourself surrounded by well-educated people most of the time in your everyday life and take for granted that everyone thinks that way. It takes a trip to the DMV to remind you why the world is the way it is. In the end, I find myself "Hmmph"ing and shaking my head at him.

On with the story. Apparently, the system said that my social security number was not valid. I was not being recognized as a US citizen. After verifying that he had entered the number correctly, I was a bit baffled. I tried to explain that I had to have presented those documents to get my CA license in the first place. No luck. He insists I wasn't born in the US. (Did my accent give it away?) I insist that I have never lived anywhere else. I was born in Minnesota.

While he goes to discuss the matter with his supervisor, I'm beginning to ponder the possibilities. Did my contributions to Moveon.org and the Marijuana Policy Project come back to bite me in the ass? Did someone in the Bush regime think I was worth erasing? Would CIA agents be petting my dog and waiting for me when I got home? How could I possibly not be a citizen of any country and still live on this planet?

Fortunately, they were very nice about it and allowed me to actually go and take the test while they straightened things out. In the end, they figured out the mistake in the system, and the whole incident just became a rather amusing trip to the DMV.

Lesson learned: never take anything for granted.

Shows, Celebs

If they're coming to your city anytime soon, do yourself a favor and go see Bloc Party. The new album is decent, but not on par with the first album. The live show, however, hasn't suffered. They tore it up at the Wiltern a few weeks ago. I was in the balcony and a little scared for my life. For the entire show, everyone was jumping around on beat and making the balcony shake. Until I decided to just relax and enjoy the fact that dying in the midst of one of my favorite passtimes wouldn't be so bad, I was honestly wondering just how old that balcony was and how much abuse it could take.

Also worth seeing is Brett Dennen. His new album is fantastic as well. He's like a giant, red-headed, bare-footed, singer/songwriter orgre who swallowed a black, female calypso singer. I'd place him somewhere between Tracy Chapman and Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. Generally avoiding the "woe is me, let me tell you about my breakups" approach of most contemporary singer/songwriters, his subject matter is generally upbeat and interspersed with some sharp political commentary. The music is great, but the spectacle is worth the price of admission.

As promised, the celeb sighting:

I was at the Hotel Cafe in Hollywood a few weeks ago (one of my favorite places here--a bit reminiscent of Eddie's Attic for you Atlanta folk) watching David Ryan Harris (also good live, but I hear his album sucks). We arrived late and were standing in the back when I turn to my right. Standing about two feet from me was John Mayer (holy Eddie's Attic connection, Batman!). He was with some short, brunette who I didn't get a good look at. After a while, I got a better look at her, and it was actually Jessica Simpson. John Mayer was a little taller than me, and she barely came up to my chest with huge heels on. And, sorry to disappoint, but she's not very cute in person. I probably wouldn't have given her a second look if she wasn't famous. (Now, if she was wearing the Daisy Duke outfit, that might be a different story...) There were a couple funny moments involving them, but my favorite was when they were sneaking off to the back room for some privacy and some guy accosted John Mayer to say, "Hey! John! John! I'm your Myspace friend!" Classic.